Yesterday I turned 30. The big 3-0. People always get excited when you tell them you are turning 30. People know it’s this big age. The age that symbolises the transition from your ‘lets get crazy and drink tequila’ phase to the ‘let’s get crazy and drink champagne’ phase. In fact when I talk about being 30, I call it the ‘Champagne years’. This is because there are so many events in your 30’s that require bubbles. Weddings, babies being born….Tuesdays. It all requires a celebration.
I wasn’t really sure how I felt about leaving my twenties. I knew I should be stressed, but I was just excited to have an excuse to go dancing and eat cake. Then I fell asleep the eve before my birthday and my dreams told me I was actually a panicked mess. I had horrible nightmares all night. Anxiety filled dreams where I couldn’t find all the people I loved. The dream felt like it went on forever and I couldn’t wake myself up. When I finally escaped my nightmares I woke up a little shocked at myself. Was I secretly terrified of becoming 30 ? Still in my morning daze I started to wonder a million thoughts. Panic started to consume me. Was I getting so old? Where had life run to? And then I walked out of the bedroom to find my Mr .
Just seeing his happy face would have been enough, but the sun was also shining and my mum and best friend had sent me beautiful messages to wake up to. All of a sudden the worries felt silly. I had gotten worked up all night for nothing. Time is terrifying to dwell on. There is a fantastic quote from Richard Dawkins who talks about how there are a million eggs in the world that never turned into people, actually billions. Incredible scientists that never got born, artists that never existed and yet I get to be here. Being normal. Do you know how lucky that is? To just have the chance to be here?
From then on rest of the day was a blur of shenanigans. I went to a friend’s house and chatted with lots of lovely ladies while making terrarium (something I didn’t even know existed a few months ago) .Everyone chatted about the birthday night out we’d had on Friday that involved hours of Karaoke and dancing. I came home to find our home transformed. Lee had painted our old tatty cupboard to look brand new, cleaned everything and covered the place in balloons. He had also, with his brother made the biggest cake I’ve ever seen. We ended the day with a boat ride to the city and a lovely meal. I finally had a chance to sit and look at my phone after the long day and there was messages from all my friends around the world. I lay in bed and I couldn’t believe that I’d been worried or upset the night before. People are incredible creatures. Their capacity for love will always astound me. I’m so lucky to know so many kind and thoughtful faces. A lot of which I’ve only met in the last 3 years. So can you imagine how many more incredible people there are to meet?
I heard a quote this week:
Life isn’t short, it’s as long as you make it.
(Unfortunately I’m not sure who said this but it’s beautiful).
I was overwhelmed that day by the love and support I found from all my friends and family. Especially the new ones who helped make the day so special here in Oz. These people didn’t know Lee and I a few months ago, but they have invited us into their lives and it has made living here easy.
I may be getting older, but I’m also getting luckier. I hope the next ten years of my thirties are as full of laughter and fun as my 20’s.
Thank you to everyone who made it special xxxx